Potluck Success by Bachelor Cook, ch. 1

Dear bachelor, if you attend a church, you will no doubt be invited to participate in a Potluck get-together at some point.  The hospitality squad will circulate a sheet asking everyone to do their part.  You’ll be lucky if you can grab the spot for napkins or drinks.  Dinner rolls and chips are also within your purview.  Please avoid signing up for real food.  But if you do, here are some tips. 

 

Potluck Success

By Bachelor Cook

 

Do not compete.  You have no chance of winning. 

 

Remember, you haven’t got experience of pleasing a spouse and children in one meal.  You don’t know the tricks and traps.  

 

There are two kinds of people in the world:  Some mix any and all ingredients together, and some don’t let the potatoes touch the green beans on their plate.  Both of these people are judging your recipe today. 

 

Colorful?  Fancy?  Don’t do it. 

 

Stick to one or two colors at the most in your dish.  A potluck presentation is not improved by specks of celery, pepper or pimento. On the contrary, this diminishes potluck value. 

 

Buy the standard, cheap, original flavor.  The expensive special edition will not be appreciated.  Seasonal pumpkin spice is a potluck disaster.  Think Ranch. 

 

You lose potluck points for “gourmet” or “delicacy.” 

 

This is no time for experiments. 

 

Try to sneak your dish into the middle before they have a chance to announce that it’s yours. 

 

Don’t be fooled.  No matter how many people are expected to attend, your offering is not necessary to feed the crowd.

 

They are not depending on your quantity of food for this event.  Your contribution is a token that you’re so cute to try and cook. 

 

Make your own favorite dish.  No one will eat it, and you can take it home to enjoy by yourself. 

 

Tomorrow you’ll realize that one conversation was actually trying to hint at the mis-steps in your recipe without hurting your feelings. 

Potluck Success by Bachelor Cook, ch. 2

 

A potluck is a chance to put yourself on stage to be judged on these categories:

• Cooking skill
• Serving container age and value
• Ability to locate and select ingredients
• Wealth to feed a family
• Generosity and frugality
• Kitchen appliances and gadgets
• Home cleanliness
• Personal health and hygiene
• Knowledge of essential oils, celebrity chefs and everyone’s allergies. 
• Character and reputation in the community.  Remember, no one ever said, I know he’s a sinner, but his food is delicious. 

Potluck Success by Bachelor Cook, ch. 3

 After the Potluck, you have several options:

• Remove your empty bowl.  (Best option) or…
• Take your own leftovers home. 
• Accept leftovers from an admirer or a sympathetic party.
• Give your leftovers to the needy person. 
• Leave your leftovers for the host to throw in the garbage. 

Best wishes to you in your culinary and cultural expeditions!